~The Last Time~
They say you never know when the last time will be that you might see or talk to someone. Well I remember the last 36 hours I had with you here like it was yesterday. I remember every sound, every smell, every word spoken, every tear shed but mostly I remember you lying on my chest as you slowly slipped away from us. And as hard as it was, it was the most special moment of my life. After all the times you had been there for me when I was hurt, scared, alone, etc., I could finally be there for you. It was the hardest thing I've ever done but somehow through God's grace I found the courage that day to whisper to you that you could let go. I knew you had been holding on all day even when they said it was time over and over but you just wouldn't let go. I also knew that everyone else but me had told you it was ok to go. I knew at those last moments that you needed me to say it was ok and when I finally did, you took your last breath. I never wanted you to be in pain but I also never wanted to let you go and when you did a part of me died with you. I realized that I had just lost one of the most important people in my life and no one could ever be what you were to me. Today starts those last 36 hrs in my mind, thinking about you getting your first pedicure that morning and how much you loved it. Spending all day with you. You telling mom how beautiful she was. That evening the dove on my prayer beads suddenly falling off and me having a feeling that something was about to happen. One of the last things you said was that you loved me~what a gift. I wondered for many months after you were gone if you knew just how much I loved and respected you. Just how funny I thought you were. I now realize you are probably where I got my sense of humor from. You taught me so many things but one of the most important things you taught me was how to live and love the life we're given. And even though you're gone you still continue to inspire me everyday. And no matter how old I am I will always be your little girl.
I know for certain that we never lose the people we love, even to death. They continue to participate in every act, thought and decision we make. Their love leaves an indelible imprint in our memories. We find comfort in knowing that our lives have been enriched by having shared their love. I also know that the angels are always near to those who are grieving, to whisper to them that their loved ones are safe in the hands of God. We cannot close the door on the past as if it didn't exist, because, after their loss, we never forget. God, help me to retain those precious memories........
Oh, heart, if one should say to you that the soul perishes like the body, answer that the flower withers, but the seed remains.
Kahlil Gibran
June 20, 2010
Happy Father's Day to My Husband~~~
In knowing that our love survived,
Through everything that we faced.
That great love shared so very long,
Can never, ever be replaced!
That's why, as I remember,
As the years were passing, too.
I didn't mind growing any older,
Sharing life and love with you.
Now that you've gone on along,
And I'm left here to reflect~
I remember all of the good times,
With never a hint of neglect.
I LOVE YOU MORE THAN YESTERDAY BUT NOT AS MUCH AS TOMORROW!
Happy Father's Day to the love of my life. Rest well.
June 14, 2010
HOW WOULD I DESCRIBE MY HUSBAND AS A MAN~~
A real man is a woman's best friend.
He will never stand her up and never let her down.
He will reassure her when she feels insecure and comfort her after a bad day.
He will inspire her to do things she never thought she could do; to live without fear and forget regret.
He will enable her to express her deepest emotions and give in to her most intimate desires.
He will make sure she always feels as though she's the most beautiful woman in the room and will enable her to be the most confident, sexy, seductive and invincible woman anywhere.
You certainly miss that when it's taken from you, but I did lovingly appreciate it while I was blessed enough to have a man like that. You were the best, Bob McBroom, and I'll love you forever.