Sometimes life seems hard to bear,
Full of sorrow, trouble and woe.
It's then that I have to remember,
That it's in the valleys I grow.
Forgive me, Lord, for complaining,
When I'm feeling so very low.
Just give me a gentle reminder,
That it's in the valleys I grow.
Dear Bobby, 3-27-2010
Your death has left a gaping hole in my life and heart and produced an emptiness that I know will never be filled. I miss your voice, the sound of your laughter, your gullibility, those funny endearing things that you did and even those moments when I was infuritated with you. I miss the dreams that I had for and with you. I miss the future that we will never have and the past, no matter how long it may have been, it will never be long enough.
I have wept for you as well as for myself. I have raged in anger at you, at God, at fate, at the world and at anyone and anything which seemed to be an appropriate target. I have tried to understand why you are no longer with me and why I have to struggle through this world without you. Some few people have reached out to try to help me, while others have turned away as if I ceased to exist. I do not ask any of them to share my grief with me....only to listen as I talk or cry. I have waited in the darkness for some sign that you are in a better, safer place....as I know that you are....but if I received a sign, I couldn't help but question how it could be better if I am not there with you. I have wanted to join you so often when the loneliness threatened to overwhelm me.
Through all of this turmoil and doubt, I have come this far. I have not yet achieved my goal, but at least I can now recognize that I'm on the road to recovery. I am not sure how I will continue to go on without you. You have always held a special place in my life and heart, and it is hard to imagine you not with me.
Will you walk beside me now as a friend, a comrade and a loving companion? I cannot come to you at this very time, but I trust that we will be reunited in God's love and compassion in the fullness of time. My life must go on, and it is time for me to begin my life for myself and others that I love. As I even think of letting you go, I must also ask that you let go of me. Your new life must seem as my new life seems to me, and perhaps the memory of me is as comforting to you as your memory is to me.
Understanding these new spheres of reality, I let you go, my dearest. I know that you will never leave my side, as I will never leave yours. Thank you for the wonderful, unique relationship and the many years of love that we shared. When we meet once more, I look forward to sharing my new experiences with you. I love you. I miss you. I will NEVER forget you.
Always,
Kay
1-01-2010
Through the years I walked with you~
in hunting fields and beaches of sand:
And when my time on earth is done,
in heaven, too, you'll have my hand.
CHRISTMAS
Christmas at our house and with you was always so fun and so special. It was the highlight of every year of my life. And just hearing Christmas songs now takes me back to our old house, hearing Christmas music playing, decorating a huge Christmas tree, shooting fireworks, eating a big Christmas dinner, watching you and Leighton fight about the Christmas decorations and seeing you act like a kid. You were always in a good mood at Christmas and you created fun traditions that I'll never forget. I haven't ridden by our old house at Christmas before but this year I think I will. Just seeing it brings back such memories and some how makes me feel closer to you. I can still see us all standing in the front window decorating the tree and always being so happy to see our little special angel go on top. I still have her and put her on my tree every year. She doesn't look very special and probably came from the Dollar Store but she is VERY special to me and now to my girls. They know the story behind her which means the world to me. You made each and every Christmas special to me and I just hope I can do the same for my girls. We love you and miss you SO much. You are our Christmas spirit now!
As I go along life's journey,
I'm reaping better than I sowed.
I'm drinking from my saucer,
'Cause my cup has overflowed.
Ain't got a lot of riches,
And without you the going's tough.
But I've got a friend in Jesus,
And that makes me rich enough.
I thank God for all His blessings,
And the mercy that He's bestowed.
I'm drinking from my saucer,
'Cause my cup has overflowed.
Lord, help me not to grumble,
About the tough rows I have hoed.
I'm drinking from my saucer,
'Cause my cup has overflowed.
And if I should go on living,
And the way gets steep and rough.
I won't ask for other blessings,
'Cause I'm already blessed enough.
May I never be too tired or busy,
To remember our travels down that road.
And I'll keep drinking from my saucer,
'Cause my cup has overflowed.
Missing you every day but realizing that I was so blessed..........................
